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India’s Top Female Icon Grand Finale to be between Jayati and Nagu

India's reality show darling Supriya won't be in the show "Top Female Icon" anymore. In a shocking incident, Insta celebrity and ace cameraman Prady caught Supriya cutting through a mouse during one of his live streams. People watching the video were traumatized by the child-like delight on Supriya's face during the act. Supriya's ridiculous explanation that she was conducting a scientific experiment found no takers. Supriya's most loyal fan, who calls himself "Supreeth", claims that it was a conspiracy masterminded by Rakshith, Nagu's chief strategist. Supreeth claims that Rakshith knew about Supriya's weakness for mice and gifted her a mouse with a note that read, "For Science". The show organizers Shreya and Neha have decided to remove Supriya from the show. Neha released a statement, which read "According to clause 12.1 of contract, a contestant involved in an act of cutting through a mouse would be terminated with immediate effect. Also, I will handle the show alone as Shreya is pursuing her dream of assembling a bird." Winner of "India's Top Male Icon", Beevee had suggested names of dancing queen Niteesha and winner of India's Best FB DP Contest, Pooja as alternatives for Supriya. However, Neha has decided to keep the finale as a 2-way dog* fight between Jayati and Nagu.

Advanced research conducted using deep learning techniques by Yashas, our resident analyst, suggests that it's a coin toss between the two remaining contestants. Both camps are coming up with ingenious plans to win. Girish, Jayati's mentor/mentee/kid/.../strategist said her ongoing cunning plan of "being nice" should win Jayati the title. Readers will remember that on the brink of elimination in earlier rounds, Jayati offered desserts to judges and ended up winning those rounds. The sly fox is capable of using every dirty trick to win. Meanwhile, Nagu has said, "I have achieved all the things which my parents said I could not. Winning against all women seems like the next logical step, though my ultimate goal is to beat my sworn enemy Gravity."

*Bitch for our feminist readers.

PS: This was written sometime in 2018.