Sameer Gudhate presents the Book Review of Communication Is Not a Competition by Jermaine Pusey

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling like you “won” — but also kind of lost? That’s exactly where Jermaine Pusey’s Communication Is Not a Competition begins: in those quiet, often painful moments when being technically right left us emotionally wrong. In a world where debates seem louder than ever and social media rewards the wittiest clapback, this book is a breath of fresh air.

Jermaine A. Pusey is not your typical communication expert. With over 20 years in IT, a string of certifications, and a journey from Jamaica to Canada, he’s a man of systems, precision, and detail. But in this book, he takes a beautifully vulnerable turn — away from data, and toward dialogue. This is his second offering after LIFE: A Series of Tasks, and it marks a significant shift into the deeply personal and universally relevant space of emotional intelligence and connection.

Rather than presenting a neat, prescriptive manual, this book unfolds in stories — of couples at dinner tables, parents navigating tense silences, and people trying to be heard but not necessarily understood. One scene with Christopher and Janelle still sticks with me: he blurts out a date correction — “2008, I knew it” — and you can feel the crack in their connection. That moment becomes the heartbeat of the book: how being “right” can cost you being close.

Jermaine writes like someone sitting across the table from you with a cup of tea. His tone is warm but clear-eyed. No jargon, no preachy tone. He doesn’t try to sound smart — he tries to connect. And in doing so, he is smart. The prose is clean, relatable, and full of lived-in wisdom. You feel seen, not lectured.

Even though it’s nonfiction, the people in this book feel real. That’s because they are — whether drawn from Jermaine’s life or composites of familiar scenarios. Each chapter presents not just people, but ideas — habits we fall into, like defensiveness or fact-checking, and the reasons behind them. He doesn’t demonize anyone. Instead, he invites curiosity: Why do we feel the need to win? What are we protecting?

The book doesn’t follow a traditional plot, but it has rhythm. Jermaine alternates between narrative moments, reflections, and practical tools. The flow is natural — you never feel bogged down. You might read a chapter in one sitting and then spend an hour thinking about it.

Connection over correction. Presence over performance. Jermaine urges us to make communication less about proving a point and more about building a bridge. He weaves in themes like emotional safety, self-awareness, and even childhood conditioning — all without ever sounding like a therapist. It’s real. And that’s what makes it resonate.

Some moments hit like a nudge. Others hit like a gut punch. I found myself revisiting conversations in my own life — times when I was more interested in being heard than in hearing. And yes, I cringed a little. But that’s what healing looks like, right?

The biggest strength? Relatability. Jermaine uses everyday language and scenarios that make you go, “Oh no… I’ve totally done that.” And the reflection prompts? Subtle, but powerful. You’ll finish a chapter and immediately want to talk to someone differently.

If I had to point something out, a few chapters felt a bit too similar in structure. Perhaps mixing in interviews or more voices could elevate the texture. But honestly, that’s minor in the larger experience.

This book made me pause. I found myself softening in conversations — with my daughter, with my colleagues, with myself. It’s the kind of book that doesn’t just live on your shelf — it lives in your next conversation. And the one after that.

Communication Is Not a Competition is more than a book — it’s a gentle revolution. It reminds us that being right isn’t nearly as satisfying as being understood. Whether you’re a partner, a parent, a leader, or just a human trying to be better, this book is for you.

#CommunicationMatters #SpeakToConnect #EmotionalIntelligence #BooksThatHeal #JermainePuseyWrites