फुर्सत

I read this lovely piece by Shuvam - https://blogs.remiges.tech/history/the-earliest-years-1996-98/

The post goes beyond the picture it paints for me because SpaceNET was my first company, and Shuvam was my first mentor. When I joined, SpaceNET was called Starcom.

The post made me reflect on how people can work in the moment, trust each other, build something together, and occasionally pause to enjoy the process. By the time I read the last line, I remembered a day when we went to Shuvam's home. He showed us the wooden speakers he had built by hand. I don't know why that thought came to my mind, but it represented a person's control over their time, energy, and focus.

Over the last few years, life has laid different paths for me. I walked them without looking back. But somehow, I feel that I have overcomplicated my search for happiness. Twenty years ago, happiness for me was reading a book, reflecting on it, listening to music, looking up the meanings of lyrics, understanding what inspired those lyrics, writing something, and then revisiting what I wrote after a day or two to tweak it.

Maybe it's the lack of time, energy, or the inability to prioritize that has changed things. I yearn for those simpler times. Maybe I will get out of my own way and let life bring them back again.

फुर्सत में एक जीने का तरीका तय कर दिया था अनजाने में,

वक्त और जिम्मेदारी के चील-गिद्धों ने घेर के एक अंधेरा सा कर दिया।

उन्होंने मेरे विचारों की अंतड़ियों को नोचा और जब उनके खून से सने मुंह भर गए, तो उड़ने लगे।

मुझे दर्द के साथ एक अजीब एहसास महसूस हुआ।

एक गिद्ध मुझे देख के मुस्कुराया,

इंसान को दबोचने आया था, गिद्ध बना के चला गया।