Quality of Life
A quote I have recently stumbled upon and has stayed with me since is Annie Dillard’s
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
It is a remarkable quote. It captures such a profound insight in a simple beautiful way.
I realized once again that I am spending my days doom scrolling instagram and youtube. How did I find the time you ask? Am I not supposed to be busy building my company? I made the time. Here is how. Every time I write a little piece of code, a script kicks off. It is called continuous integration and cotinuous deployment in nerd speak. For the project that I am working on, this script takes a good 2-3 minutes. So as soon as I push the code to the cloud, I start waiting for the script to do its job. This is the danger time. I immediately pick up my phone and start scrolling. I lose track and end up with empty brain calories. The feeling is eerily similar to eating a ton of really sweet ice cream. It leaves you with a void you are certain only more ice cream can fill.
I had to stop this non sense. So I tried setting a timer on the instagram app. Let me save you the suspense. That did not work. So I did the next best thing, I could think of. I deleted instagram. And I turned off short videos on youtube. And just like that I regained a little more control over my mind. Now, I find myself jumping from one app to other on my phone - email, whatsapp, indianexpress, hindu, twitter while being almost aware that the mind is craving for some short videos. But there is none to be had. So it moves on.
I have realized that moderation is not for me. I need to quit to really quit. I will relapse occasionally, but I will quit again. I want to look back at life and remember what was happening in my life. With the constant drip of instagram, I am afraid all I would see is dancing couples, home decor, cooking hacks, and parenting wisdom that I only wish I could use. So here is to being a little more present, a little more aware, and to quitting the 98123 th time.
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manan dedhia
4 days ago
Fuck yes amigo!
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