A hard day 

Don’t let the title worry you too much. Now as I think about it, it wasn’t that hard a day. It felt hard, though, while I was living it.

I have been working on solving a really difficult problem for one of my projects. If I crack it, it might bring some good fortune. But if I don’t crack it, the needle won’t move. I have spent more than 10 days, at this point, trying to find a reliable solution. I expressed my frustration in my post a couple of days ago Working with AI. Yes, this post was written at the peak of frustration with the problem statement.

Just like other hard days, I felt like I needed a reward for all my hardships. It was 11 PM. Fuck it, I thought. I ordered some chicken. On most normal days, I fast from 6 PM to 10 AM the next day. But on days that bother me, self pity wins. I deserve this, I tell myself.

Munching on this chicken wrapped in a Kerala Parotta at 11:30 PM, I stumble across a solution. Or, maybe, this last change finally brings all the pieces together. I feel satisfied. I am not really sure, if it is the carbs kicking in or the code finally working. It doesn’t matter.

I get ready for bed, happy that the code is finally working. But guilty that I gave in to an indulgence, and lost today’s battle.