Day 1 - I have no idea

Trying my hand at writing for 30 days straight. I have no idea what I am gonna write though. Sometimes I feel I’d probably write more if there was a knife which would start running behind me the moment I stop writing. Isn’t every day like this? I don’t clean the room until it’s so dirty that I don’t feel like even sitting there anymore. Almost every other thing is also similar. Almost every other chore is identical. Dirty dishes? I’ll do it of course, but only when the maid’s taken a month long leave and there are no backups for another two years and only when that’s the last choice. Only when there’s a knife, running behind me. 

I’ve often wondered why that’s the case. Is it something my brain has gotten itself accustomed to over these years? Or is it just plain old laziness? It’s kinda weird because when I do start cleaning up the room, I get obsessed - although temporarily - with cleaning stuff. For that one hour I am on a roll and I clean the hell out of every darn thing in the room. In those few mins I’ve made plans for how I will create a regular schedule out of this and cultivate a good habit out of it. In those few minutes I’ve envisioned an entire transformation where I have become an ideal son, an ideal father who keeps the room tidy and teaches his son how cleanliness is next to godliness. For that one blissful hour, I am superman. But after that hour, as I step out of the pristine clean room, I notice the room’s ceiling fan stare at me in pure silence as it hangs right there with an entire year’s worth of dirt on its blades making it look like an offroad adventure - no less. And in an instant I am back to my lazy self as I apologise to the offroad-ceiling fan and check the calendar for Diwali. Before that, I have to go and find where I hung the darn calendar. That’s how it has always been. 

So, here’s hoping that I am able to write something or the other for 30 days straight. If nothing, I’ll just write out my day’s journal here. Why, that too might be interesting. Who knows what I uncover as I finally clean the ceiling fan or decide to clear that mysterious cardboard box which hasn’t moved for more than an year now. Who knows when I might actually be courageous enough to go and actually do that task. Anyway, the goal is not perfection but progress; and in these 30 days I wish to just clear out some of the mess in my mind by writing out some of it here. Our mind, after all, is that darn room we rarely clean, isn’t it?