Parenting stories - silent mothers, eager fathers
I am at an age where a lot of my friends and their friends are becoming parents or have become parents recently. One thing I have noticed is that my male friends are almost too eager to share their experience of becoming a father. I have done this too. I can’t stop talking about how my life has changed. How difficult the first year was. How rewarding the experience feels. My female friends on the other hand, seem more guarded about sharing their experience.
I quipped to a friend that it felt funny and sad at the same. The first few years of parenting are not at all equitable for the man and the woman. The mother does almost everything. The man is nowhere near being an equal parent at this time. He can only try to help.
My friend said, “Because we live it more perhaps”. I thought this one sentence captured so much - from the joy of parenthood to the emtional and physical toll of childbirth and unreasonable societal expectations.
Was reminded of these beautiful lines by Murakami from Norwegian Wood -
I often tried to write. But I couldn’t produce a line. Every thing was too sharp and clear, so that I could never tell where to start - the way a map that shows too much can sometimes be useless…
The more the memories fade, the more deeply I am able to understand. (modified slightly).
Here’s hoping we get to hear more stories from our female friends too.
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manan dedhia
8 months ago
I would recommend "Desperately Seeking Shah Rukh: India's Lonely Young Women and the Search for Intimacy and Independence" by Shrayana Bhattacharya to any and everyone wanting to explore the female perspective in addition to interacting with their social circle.
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