Parenting stories - silent mothers, eager fathers
I am at an age where a lot of my friends and their friends are becoming parents or have become parents recently. One thing I have noticed is that my male friends are almost too eager to share their experience of becoming a father. I have done this too. I can’t stop talking about how my life has changed. How difficult the first year was. How rewarding the experience feels. My female friends on the other hand, seem more guarded about sharing their experience.
I quipped to a friend that it felt funny and sad at the same. The first few years of parenting are not at all equitable for the man and the woman. The mother does almost everything. The man is nowhere near being an equal parent at this time. He can only try to help.
My friend said, “Because we live it more perhaps”. I thought this one sentence captured so much - from the joy of parenthood to the emtional and physical toll of childbirth and unreasonable societal expectations.
Was reminded of these beautiful lines by Murakami from Norwegian Wood -
I often tried to write. But I couldn’t produce a line. Every thing was too sharp and clear, so that I could never tell where to start - the way a map that shows too much can sometimes be useless…
The more the memories fade, the more deeply I am able to understand. (modified slightly).
Here’s hoping we get to hear more stories from our female friends too.
Never miss a post from
Satyajeet Jadhav
Get notified when Satyajeet Jadhav publishes a new post.
16 views
Liked by
Comments ( 1 )
manan dedhia
a month ago
I would recommend "Desperately Seeking Shah Rukh: India's Lonely Young Women and the Search for Intimacy and Independence" by Shrayana Bhattacharya to any and everyone wanting to explore the female perspective in addition to interacting with their social circle.
Participate in the conversation.
Read More
Parenthood
Parenthood is taking us to a new level of maturity, strength, and perspective on life. Your priority becomes your child, and everything else shifts to accommodate this incredible journey.
Our 1st father's day together
Just because I am too tiny to talk doesn't mean I can't write you a letter either. I have a lady here whom I am gonna call Aai, who understands all my emotions, hunger, pain, and joys. If she can understand my hunger, my pain, and everything which no one can, then definitely she ...
“Real” Mother
On last Thursday I was dropping Vivaan at his daycare. Since Mother’s day was coming on Sunday they had a prop to take photo with your kid. I saw some of the mums taking photos and quickly proceeded to drop Vivaan. Thought that came to my mind was I am not a “real” mother so I do...
November 4th, When you wish upon a Star
Listening to my daughter narrate stories- why is this such a gratifying and being in wonder and an immensely being-in-awe moment for me? All the time, Always…She did not speak till she was 5 years and a few more, I never knew if she would.. And now, I can't get her to stop..As I ...
“All this”
Most days I don’t want my son to grow up so fast. I don’t know if there is a term for this phenomenon. But parents often complain how fast their kids are growing up! May be we want to freeze the time so that we get to enjoy these precious moments longer.
Holiday
It’s been a fulfilling couple of weeks as a father. Every jump and every cry, every leap I was there to catch. Every day was a milestone and every day a new something. Every stolen word you knew where it came from because you were there all along. Every tantrum you could decode w...
Why doesn’t people talk to each other more
Yesterday had a long talk with the husband on what his current projects are. A bunch of information was shared which made me excited about the IT future in general. The work maybe boring and daunting but the future prospects gives hope. Maybe I was always drawn to new tech. But d...
The Minimalist Mindset
I used to be one of those who tried to do everything at once. You know the kind, of juggling a million things, trying to be the best at everything - school, work, home stuff, being the best daughter, mother, wife, friend, you name it. I was always told I was the \"Pillar\" of the...