“Real” Mother
On last Thursday I was dropping Vivaan at his daycare. Since Mother’s day was coming on Sunday they had a prop to take photo with your kid. I saw some of the mums taking photos and quickly proceeded to drop Vivaan. Thought that came to my mind was I am not a “real” mother so I don’t deserve to take this picture.
I have always been firm on working even after having Vivaan. I want to build my career and have made necessary adjustments for doing so. Be it employing a nanny or sending him to daycare. As a daycare kid myself I know that it is a very good alternative for working moms and I have seen Vivaan thrive since he started going to daycare. Then why does it always feel bad when I drop him or why do I find justifying myself even at my workplaces on why my son goes to daycare. I am like “Hello, do you want me to deliver or not? So why are you asking why my kid goes to daycare!”
With multiple advertisements on the internet and on tv there is a certain image of a mother. A mother who will sacrifice and sacrifice for the benefit of her kids. Mother who will eat cold food just to make sure her kid eats properly. Mother who can’t stay away from her kids even for a minute. I personally don’t relate to any of this. As much as I love playing and spending time with Vivaan, I also love my personal space. I love reading him books but I also love reading my own books. I love going on holidays with him but I also loved the one trip I have taken in last 4.5 years with my friends. I love cooking his favorite food but I also employ a cook for all of our everyday meals. Does this make me a bad mom? I don’t think so. I think it makes me a happy mom. :)
Wrote this after reading a WhatsApp status of my sister-in-law where she rightly said in better words that being a mother doesn’t mean you ignore your needs even if it is convenient for society to assume so.
Here is us with the card he made in his daycare for mother’s day! 😀
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Comments ( 16 )
snehal jadhav
6 months ago
Completely Relatable!!
sanika joshi
6 months ago
Thanks 😀
jaee jadhav
6 months ago
Never feel bad when you drop him or never justify yourself even at your workplace on why your son goes to daycare. Feel bad for those good for nothing people who question you such silly stuff 😆
sanika joshi
6 months ago
Haha! I will from now on. Thank you! 🙂
Ketan Ghatode
6 months ago
Very well written Sanika, thanks for setting a great example! It is mothers such as you that can strike balance in the society!
sanika joshi
6 months ago
Thanks Ketan for kind words! 🙂
Apurva Khode
6 months ago
We all are REAL mothers in our own ways 😊 Beautifully written ❤️
sanika joshi
6 months ago
So true! ❤️
Satyajeet Jadhav
6 months ago
I am lucky to have a ring side view to all the real work you do every day to keep us afloat. Thank you for being you.
sanika joshi
6 months ago
Thank you for always supporting and encouraging. And thank you for being you as well. ❤️❤️
Chetana Bhutada
6 months ago
We are all Real mothers, real working mother's. They learn a lot by what they see, they become independent and multi taskers and achiever’s, boys and girls - when they see, as parents we take equal roles and responsibilities inside and outside - working at home and outside world - they will be better adults . Been there done that. Having a good support system is very important- and there nothing wrong creating and asking for one . I would rather spend quality and good time than quantity time - watching tv and gossiping - even if I you work or not , setting boundaries is good for all . Following dreams, taking out time for your self - self care and self love is very important to be happy in life, if you are happy , then kids , home and overall things will be happy. As mothers we need to teach kids to balance out these things. Have you ever wondered Why father’s don’t ever go in this guilt trip , and we do ? Why is it that mom’s responsibility is to do double work , double shifts , why? because we are conditioned to react that way. I would never want my kids specially son to take things for granted and when his wife ask for house work he thinks he is doing favour . I would want him To own the responsibility and will happen when we say it’s right and real and perfectly ok to have work and it’s ok to forget few kids projects , ok to send them in uniform instead kurta on Hindi divas days. Even they don’t remember this when they are 18.
sanika joshi
6 months ago
Well said Chetan Tai! Thank you for this much needed comment. ❤️
Sheetal Tare
6 months ago
Loved it Sanika. Happy Mother's Day :) You are amazing Mom. Lots of love from me and Aneeka :)
sanika joshi
6 months ago
Thank you Sheetal ❤️
Sudhir Joshi
6 months ago
Sanika, very well written. Crisp and concise. Being a great daughter yourself, you would naturally be a great mother.
sanika joshi
6 months ago
Thank you Baba! ❤️
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